Thursday, January 27, 2011

Beat it, Just Beat it

Have you checked out those fancy doctor-recommended headphones? They’re supposed to relieve symptoms of “lowness of audio, music, etc. syndrome” (or LAMES). These symptoms include: imploded eardrums, nausea of the brain, and (in rare cases) diarrhea of the soul when listening to your favorite music on those old headphones that you haven’t quite ruined yet. If you believe you have a case of the LAMES, you should schedule an appointment with Dr. Dre.

I was a walk-in patient.

Last semester, I was at a Best Buy when I came across a demo pair of Dr. Dre’s Beats. I put them on and “In Da Club” by 50 Cent greeted me. With any of the headphones that I owned, I simply would have listened to the song; with these headphones, I was “In Da Club” with Fiddy himself.

Da Club

It was mesmerizing. I closed my eyes and the music carried me off to a special place inside my head that is usually reserved for robotic unicorns. Even though I’ve listened to the song a countless number of times previous to walking into the store, I felt like I was really hearing it for the first time.

All of a sudden, my 30 second demo ended.

It was like leaving the womb for the second time. Awakened by silence, I found myself back in the cold and unforgiving world that we are all condemned to walk upon. I gingerly removed the headphones and took a few seconds to reflect on what just happened. I quickly came to the conclusion that I must have these headphones simply for the sake of my sanity. I looked at the price.


Figures. Deal breaker. There was no way that I could ever justify paying that much for a pair of headphones, no matter how awesome they are. I could be putting that money towards my schooling (wow, I sound like my parents), or saving it in the bank for a rainy day. My sanity will just have to suck it up for now. Lame.

Since then, I’ve noticed a trend on my college campus: a lot of people are wearing big headphones when they are scrambling about. Some people are even sporting the Beats. Seeing this, it really got me thinking: these people must be walking around in their own private universes on a daily basis. I understand that people have been listening to portable music devices for years. The big difference now is that the headphones are bigger, better, and more soundproof. I’ve once tried to say hi to a friend of mine while he was wired in and he honestly did not see or hear me.

Is this a problem?

I’m not prepared to answer this question now, but I will be addressing it in an upcoming post.